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Reconcile Before the Review
Table of Contents
Reconcile before the review - fix the relationship before OKRs, demos, or reorg meetings.
Key Concept
- Fix the relationship breach before OKRs, demos, or reorg meetings.
- Level 1: If you and a coworker are not okay, fix that first - before performance reviews or big meetings.
- Level 2: If you and a coworker are not okay with each other, fix that first before you sit down for performance reviews or big meetings.
- Level 3: Relationship breach before agenda - repair the rift, then OKRs and demos.
- Level 4: Because unresolved hurt poisons feedback, reconciliation precedes evaluation - the scorecard cannot substitute for peace.
- Level 5: Fix the relationship breach before OKRs, demos, or reorg meetings - process without repair is theater.
- Process does not heal a broken trust link.
- The person who knows there is a breach moves first - a short call, an owned apology, a specific repair - then we talk OKRs.
- Same order as Reconciliation Before Worship, minus the religious frame: relationship before ritual performance.
Examples
- Strong stats for the scout meeting but my assistant coach was still cold from Tuesday - fifteen minutes with him before we sat with the scout beat hoping charts would smooth it.
- The client renewal call was booked but my business partner and I had not spoken since our blowup over a missed invoice - I texted him first, we talked ten minutes, then got on the call together.
Note Relationships
| Relationship | Wikilink | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| contradicts | Golden Rule at Work | when I want fair treatment but will not initiate repair |
| extends | Listen Before Fixing | Repair starts by hearing what still hurts |
| extends | Note Relationships | Broken links between people need face-to-face repair like broken wikilinks |
| extends | Reconciliation Before Worship | Relationship before ceremony - here, before the review or demo |
| extends | The Golden Rule | I would want someone to fix the rift before judging my performance |
| implements | Follow Their Lead | Coffee first - go on their thread before the slides |
