Interactive graph
Listen Before Fixing
Table of Contents
Listen before fixing - repeat what you heard, then respond. Feeling heard comes before being helped.
Key Concept
- I repeat what I heard before I prescribe.
- Level 1: Say back what you heard before you tell someone what to do - like repeating the story your friend just told before you give advice.
- Level 2: Repeat their words in your own voice before you offer advice - that proves you listened, not just waited to talk.
- Level 3: Listen-before-fixing means prescribing only after the other person feels heard - otherwise advice lands like correction.
- Level 4: Mirror what they said, pause, then respond - one sentence of playback buys trust for whatever you say next.
- Level 5: Follow Their Lead and Gentleness depend on this order - Safety Comes First is the exception when delay would let harm continue.
- Repeating what I heard keeps advice from landing like a correction.
Examples
- A younger player kept explaining why he missed the free throw - I almost jumped in with form tips.
- My kid told me about a fight at school - I caught myself lining up a lecture and stopped.
Note Relationships
| Relationship | Wikilink | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| contradicts | Safety Comes First | when waiting to hear more would let harm continue |
| extends | Follow Their Lead | Listening is how I stay in their world before I steer |
| extends | Gentleness | Hear before you prescribe - gentleness in conversation |
| extends | People-Centered Design | Hear the need before you ship the fix |
| extends | Shadow the Work | Listening plus watching the real job |
| extends | The Golden Rule | I would want someone to hear me out before they fixed me |
| implements | Emotional Regulation | I hold the urge to interrupt with the answer |
