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Follow Their Lead

Created Jul 24, 2026, 10:27 AM · Updated Jul 24, 2026, 10:27 AM

Join their world - topic, pace, starting point - before trying to steer.

Key Concept

  • Skip their starting point and you are fixing a problem they were not naming.
  • Level 1: Start where they are, not where you wish they were - like directions from the wrong corner send them wrong.
  • Level 2: Follow their lead is like trying their recipe once before you rewrite it - connection precedes correction.
  • Level 3: Because connection precedes correction, running their play once proves you understood before you redirect.
  • Level 4: Listen, run their version once, then offer your fix - connection first, critique second; the redirect lands after they know you heard them.
  • Level 5: Run their version once before you redirect - pairs with Listen Before Fixing when the fix is right but the timing kills trust.
  • Connection first, critique second - run their play once before you offer yours.
  • The redirect lands better once they know you actually understood their version first.

Examples

  • My teammate wanted to run a inbound play I would never seen - I ran it once before I told him how I would do it.
  • A coworker walked me through how she tracks patient callbacks - I watched the whole spreadsheet before I offered to reorder her columns.

Note Relationships

RelationshipWikilinkReason
contradictsSafety Comes Firstwhen following them would allow serious harm
extendsProcess Over OutcomesSmall moments of attention beat one perfect conversation
extendsThe Golden RuleI would want someone to enter my world before they fixed mine
implementsContinuous ImprovementTrust builds through repeated small acts of attention, not one grand gesture
implementsEmotional RegulationI hold the urge to interrupt, correct, or take the wheel
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